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Monday, September 27, 2010
Apology....
To the dog that I hit and did not stop to help: I am so very very sorry for what I did. Words cannot express how sorry I am or how much I have beaten myself up for the way I reacted that early dark morning. I know it is no excuse, but I was in shock at what I had done...had I been in my right frame of mind I have every confidence that I would have pulled over to the side of the road and rushed you to the vet and paid for your care myself. I have felt an immense guilt over what I have done since the day it happened. Every time the song that was playing on the radio when it happened comes on, I think of you. I hit you over a year ago, but I still cannot seem to forgive myself for what I have done. I may have taken the life of someones beloved family member. As a pet owner myself I cannot imagine the devastation that I have caused to your family. I am truly sorry for what I have done to you and your family. I wish that I could do something to make up for what I have done, but what makes up for hitting someone and not stopping to help? Certainly nothing that I can think of. My counselor tells me that it is ok to let go of the guilt, everyone makes mistakes and we all have moments when we do not always react the right way to things. She says that we take these events as learning experiences and move on. But to be quite honest, I do not know that I ever could move on. I feel like I will forever be a person who did this horrible thing. I have not been able to forgive myself for what I have done, and I guess I feel like I do not deserve forgiveness. If there truly is a time in our lives where we are brought before the Gods and judgement is to be passed on us, I am fairly certain I will be judged harshly for not stopping to help you. Some part of me feels like I should be judged harshly for what I have done. My hope is that you did not suffer and that you are far happier where you are. I am so so sorry for what I have done.
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